An Upswing

Yesterday was terrible.  I had a terrible attitude and as a result, a terrible day.  This morning I woke up at 1:30 a.m., then proceeded to toss and turn for the better part of 3 hours, all while stubbornly trying to convince myself to meditate, stop thinking about work and school, only to drift off only slightly before my alarm.  As I showered, I vowed to have a better day.  I finished my mid-term essay for one class, which was actually a good assignment - one that I enjoyed.  Then I started plotting my literature review.  (Thankfully, my job today involved testing operator candidates at the college, which gave me a lot of free time, with no distractions - which never happens when I'm in the office - and precisely why I dread going back tomorrow).

I made some decent headway on my literature review - in my mind.  I narrowed it down to the barriers that women face in male-dominated industries (like manufacturing and mining - where I work), and how to provide education and encouragement to attract, keep, and promote women into higher-paying jobs.  I think it's pretty damn relevant, it's certainly relevant to my job, but I'm sure there will be a professor and some classmates who say "nay nay."  But my fabulous "Salmon-Swimming-Upstream" cohort has been so supportive.  If nothing else, this PhD program brought me to a few incredible people who I see as lifelong friends.

I was inspired to create a Top Chef-esque dinner tonight - but I think I failed.  My husband, who would have eaten my creation, was saved through my foresight.  I don't generally test fancy/daring (read: sometimes pretentious) recipes on him or our friends (quite candidly because many of them are experiments gone awry!).  For my fabulous husband, it was fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and corn - one of my favorite meals ever that I cook, but in the spirit of being daring (and in the spirit of always trying to lose weight), I went my own way.  I roasted a small butternut squash with olive oil and salt for about 45 minutes, then pureed it with some chicken stock - delicious in its own right, but really too rich to have more than a few bites.  I made a fresh corn - trimmed from the cob - succotash with tomatoes and chives, which really had no business being together.  And lastly, thanks to the talented Cat Cora's demonstration on one of my DVR'd Master Chef episodes, I quick-seared some Alaskan halibut brought back to me from some friends.  I made a quick lemon-butter sauce to go over it.  The plating itself was actually quite beautiful, but the execution and the mixture of ingredients was just off.  I could hear Gordon Ramsey yelling words of advice to me - the halibut, slightly overcooked, the butternut squash, delicious, but it doesn't go with anything, and the succotash, just plain bad idea.  That's okay.  It wasn't inedible, just another fun experiment, and a fairly low-calorie one at that.  (I might mention that for the first time in months, today I got on my elliptical runner, since my commute today was only 5 minutes - I lasted 15 minutes - hey, it's a start!).

So, this evening finds me more optimistic and motivated.  This job, this PhD - they aren't my whole life, they are means to my dream, which has been culinary school, for the past four years, I've wanted culinary school.  Maybe with a PhD, I can teach a flexible (online?) schedule, and go to culinary school while writing ... this is my dream.  I have to put in about 3 years to get there, but really, in my life, 3 years is nothing.  It's still filled with fun times, cooking as a hobby, and living a great life.  Now, where did I put my wine glass?