Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Promoting Women

Since I've changed my dissertation topic more than once (okay, more than half a dozen times), I go back to my original gender studies.  It hit me today in a meeting with six other men, three of them so gray-haired they are retiring in the next few months, that I'm not so sure it's men who are holding me back.  My half-hour commute home, punctuated only by me flipping through the Sirius channels, since my dear husband and commuter-partner stayed home sick, was filled with the shocking realization that women, not men, have held my career back.  How can this be?  I've been fortunate to have men, who believe in women, give me advantages in my career.  The women in power that I've worked for - they are the ones who've held me back.  This hit me like a hangover of a dozen Jaeger shots.  I'm getting it all wrong.  I shouldn't be educating MEN on feminism, I should be educating jealous, insecure females.  Really?  Again - how can this be?  We women have to stick together.  But unfortunately, I have battled the Queen Bee syndrome, battle it today.  The men I work with respect me and trust me and value me.  The women - threatened and jealous. 

This hit me while I'm helping my fellow female comrades build careers, only to run into women - not men - telling them no.  Ladies, come on!  We can do better than this! 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


My life is full of possibility.  I'm an eternal optimist, my glass is usually overflowing (mostly with red wine).  This morning started out as, what I can only describe as - craptacular, and nothing my fault, but everything I got to clean up.  Exasperated, frustrated, downright pissed off, I stopped myself several times to smile, to laugh, to put things in perspective, to enjoy the people around me who picked me up and made me feel good.  I have a beautiful home that hasn't been devastated by natural disaster, I enjoy freedom because people much braver than I sacrifice, I have a full figure because I can afford good food.  My life does not suck by any stretch of the imagination. 

Dinner with wonderful people, my husband included, now at home enjoying HGTV, waiting for the Top Chef finale' - both of which my wonderful husband watches with me.  Oh, and I had three new pairs of shoes waiting for me from AND a UPS slip announcing the arrival of wine.  Yeah, my life sooo does not suck.  I have nothing but possibility of even better times ahead.  I crave a change, and whatever winds bring that to me, I'm going to follow them with wild abandon.  There is nothing quite so stimulating as possibility. 

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I had dinner and drinks with four amazing women tonight.  Women, when we are on each others' side, can rule the world.  We talked about everything, we laughed, we giggled, we had a great time.  I didn't want to leave, even though we all have an early morning.  Why can't all our relationships be like this - banding together to make a difference, instead of competing maliciously with one another.  Tomorrow I once again deal with women who compete against me.  Women have to help each other, not help the men's movement work against us.  While feminism has advanced, we're still not where we should be.

Being with my friends tonight made me happy.  I've become an introvert, almost agrophobic, because of people who try to keep me down - but that is so ridiculous.  I basked in the glow of friendship tonight - as corny as that sounds - and I felt at home, I felt like myself.  Tomorrow, my best friend in the whole wide world is coming for the weekend.  I can hardly wait.  The bonds that women have when they have each others' best interests at heart - are so strong.  When we realize we don't have to compete for the limelight, for men, for fame, for money, for whatever, we understand that helping each other means helping ourselves.  Go Girls!!!