So You Wanna Be a PhD ...

So you wanna be a PhD.  Be prepared to be demoralized when you are different from your classmates.  Get used to the idea that your professors think your topic has no relation to your course of study (even when your topic has all the words of your course of study IN it), and be prepared to watch your classmates who have seemingly ridiculous dissertation topics be rewarded.

Tonight was a big dose of "your professor is just not that into you."  I am okay with constructive feedback - I deal with it every damn day at work.  If I trust and respect you, then I am willing to listen.  But I haven't developed that trust, that relationship, with my cohorts or my professors.  And to hear that my topic is irrelevant, or not related to education, I don't get the connection.  I want to learn how adults learn to cook - how to inspire them, how to give them my passion.  Maybe a PhD isn't right for me?  Maybe this isn't my dream?  PhD's maybe are, in general, for those who don't want to work in corporate America?  This is definitely me, although I do love the salary and benefits of corporate America, I disdain the feeling that I'm not making a difference.  How can I be on the outside - looking in - to two distinctly different groups?

Maybe I'm becoming an eccentric recluse.  Who knows.  I'm not digging the PhD scene, because these people are so immersed in academia and are so judgmental against those who are not.  I'd love to add Dr. Cyndi Johnson to my list of monikers, but tonight, I have to ask - effin' why?  Why do I want this?

I want to cook, to nurture, and I'm not really here to convert others, just to inspire them.  And to be demoralized in the process by people I don't respect, it really turns me off.