Monday, June 21, 2010

Scaling a Skyscraper

Today is one of those days when I realized how much work 9 credit hours of PhD work, a full-time job, a house and a husband really are.  So really, the former two are the topics sucking the life out of me, the latter two are the ones saving me.  

Statistics class sucks.  I can't wrap this one in a bow for you - or for me.  I don't understand this software, which took forever for me to figure out wasn't compatible with my new Mac.  I finally got through to the software company and got an update patch.  Now I'm ready to wash my hands of it.  The stress of working in HR leaves little brain power at the end of the day.  Holding someone's livelihood in your hands is not a job I want to have.  Yes, the people I discipline and fire have done something drastic to warrant the extreme measures, but being the grim reaper is harder than you can imagine.  While I try to give the employee as much dignity as possible, the stress for all sides is unavoidable.  The day I realize that it's not hard to discipline or fire someone is the day I should quit HR.  It doesn't matter if the employee brought destruction upon him-or-herself, when you know the employee, their families, and how it will affect them, it just doesn't matter.  Some days I wish I'd been smarter about my career.  I'd do something productive, I'd be in a profession that wasn't just "overhead" for a company.  While my career is lucrative, the stress of being in a profession that is less than respected wears on my last nerve.  

It's shortly after 7 p.m. and I'm ready for bed.  Perhaps statistics can be pushed back even further to tomorrow morning when my mind is (hopefully) fresh.  I'm pushing against a deadline, which is unlike the un-procastinating personality I've developed.  But sometimes, you can only think so much in one day ...  

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