In a moment of self-pity last night, I lamented my PhD woes on Facebook . I was met with nothing but strong cheerleading and encouragement from my girl friends. Of course, my husband encourages me, but there's something about girl power that motivates me like no other. (Let me say this, though: I am fortunate to have a husband who is not afraid to stand behind all of my achievements - even when it means surpassing his own - see the end of this post for my Anais Nin quote). I have to get this PhD, for all the women before me who have paved the way, and for all the women behind me from whom I must pave the way.
So, I was hopped up on feminism all day. Voting day - I reminded myself how many women fought with their own blood, sweat, and tears, for my right to do this. I kicked it into high gear with my dissertation topic, women in male-dominated industries. I did some more lit review, I did some more writing, I did some coding of my field work, and then finally, I faced up to the deadlines looming in the next four weeks. After a semester of deep soul-searching, insipid, vapid, gut-wrenching mind-changing, and general digging my heels in the ground, I am seriously behind. But today, I felt something small click inside of me. I can't NOT finish this PhD. I can't give up. I tell others not to give up - what kind of person does that make me to not take my own advice? To top off my lit review, tonight I've dug into my feminist books, Falduci, DeBeauvoir, Steinem, Friedan, the greats of the second wave, and also some new feminist literature - yes, Virginia, anti-feminism still exists. It's enough to make your blood boil - and enough to get me off my ass to keep fighting for equality!
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. " Anais Nin
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