The Queen Bee Syndrome

Have you heard of it?  I researched it a bit last year when I first endeavored this PhD journey.  I keep abandoning women's studies, but why?  My blood boils - but that's the stuff of revolutions, right?  So, in case you don't know (which I didn't before last year), the Queen Bee Syndrome happens when women reach the "top" (be it middle-management or higher, just any position of power really), and they steadfastly refuse to help other women do the same.  The rationale?  I had to face hardship, so should you. Or ... I am so superior that only I belong in this man's world.  I refuse to let this movement gain more steam.  In the past couple of weeks, I've found myself in an almost-uncomfortable role of mentor or role model.  I say uncomfortable because I'm not used to being a role model.  My life choices have sometimes been less than stellar, yet still I persevere, I succeed.  Last week, I thought long and hard (I will resist the joke), and realized that men have helped elevate my career, not women. 

Then I came to the sad realization that I have no role models.  Is this the Gen X prototype coming out?  Perhaps.  I wasn't ever a latch-key kid, being the product of parents who are still married to each other today and a mom who never had a career outside of her family.  But I've forged my own way.  I've defined my own success.  I've met a few - and I stress few - maybe 3 or 4 women in the last several years who have encouraged me to move ahead, but unfortunately, I don't have as much contact with these fabulous women as I'd like.  So I make my own way.  I thrive on the men in my life who cheer me on, starting from my grandpa, to my dad, to my husband, and the men I am fortunate enough to work with every day.  I've become a champion for women, even though I have limited power to help some of them.  I find it awkward to be a role model, because I myself don't have one.  But I am flattered nonetheless, and want to do everything I can to help my women friends be successful.  They don't threaten me, in fact, they lift me up, they make me a better person.